shit

so what's the point?
I forgot how it's like to smile and mean ir for more than two hours.
I forgot how it's like to be a lovely person, if that ever happened.
I forgot how it feels to live and like it.
Now ,I just exist. Or nearly so.
So tell me what's the point of living a life pretending a smile every fucking hour of your day, pretending to be so fucking nice and adorable just for them like you and admit you into a job that you don't really need and pretending to live, plus preteding to yourself that YOU ARE REALLY LOVING to live this way.
What's the point?
Tell me about it and I'll tell you why i'm so fucking ME , but it dosen't mean that i'm really fucking pround of this.
Make me understande you as I try to do the same.